Introductions

ARCHIE: Helloooo world! It's a gorgeous day and I am ready to get digging. I'm planning to find some comfort under as many landscaped bushes as possible - the more dirt, the better! My beloved 2 leggers will start running at me with unusual faces and sounds that hurt my ears - why do they do this! Just lookin for a good time....by the way, you'll know it's me because I am white and fluffy as a cloud, and if I’m lying on a white blanket, you won’t know where one ends and the other begins. BIG DAWG - A

PENNY: Why are you so chipper in the morning? I am just trying to make sure Mimi - the light of my life, apple of my eye, mother, grandmother, confidant, best friend, and all out most magnificent godly person in the world - is right in the spot I remembered her to be. She is simply not allowed to move without me knowing. FUN FACT: Her friend Anita, who is always calling, is constantly getting in the way of her attention to me. Someone make that stop. Anyhow, in the morning I'm all about efficiency. Get me my breakfast please -- only the best for me -- Farmers Dog Raw Meat (don't dare consider I will settle for anything less. I don't care that it makes you feel gross to serve it to me, or that you might get salminella if you don't properly clean your hands after you put it in my bowl), quick trip outside, and then hurry as fast as possible back upstairs to my comfy bed. Leave me alone until further notice. We've just met, but please know, I'm addicted to balls, not cigars.